Dear My Little Lima Bean,
I miss you. I love you. You’re in a better place now. Your Tikun is done. Such a special Neshama you are that you only had to be here for 9 weeks. How was it? Were you happy? Was anything painful? Did you learn a lot? Did I take care of you well? Did you feel my love and caring? Did I do something that caused you to leave? Was I too nervous? Did I eat too much junk food? Did you feel my negative thoughts? Did they make you sad? Did leaving me hurt? I’ll have to wait a while for your answers but I am so looking forward to seeing you again.
I feel so sad now. I bonded with you for 9 weeks. Dreaming about meeting you after 9 months and finally seeing your little face and touching your little fingers and hugging your little body and kissing your yummy cheeks. And even hearing that desperate cry which only I could comfort. So even though they told me that you were only the size of a lima bean when you left this world, to me you were so much more. You were an entire life. And it’s really hard to say goodbye for now to you and all the dreams and hopes and prayers that I had for you.
I know that my comfort lies in the fact that you really are in a better place and that Hashem did this so that I can come closer to Him. All these tears I cry and this pain I feel is ultimately good.
Love Always and Forever,